>> BEDTIME STORIES ARCHIVE

>> Chicken

One day the sky fell down and hit Chicken Licken on the head. "I thought that was going to happen" said Chicken Licken. He had a great big bump on his head, so he set off to tell the doctor. On his way he met Monkey Grunkey, who said "Chicken Licken, where are you going in such a hurry?" "Mind your own business" said Chicken Licken, and he carried on to tell the doctor that he had a great big bump on his head.

On his way he met Elephant Belephant and his sister Melephant. They said "Chicken Licken, where are you going in such a hurry?" "I'm going to tell the doctor that I've got a great big bump on my head" said Chicken Licken. "We'll come with you" said Elephant Belephant, but they couldn't because their trunks had been tied together in a knot.

So Chicken Licken carried on, and on his way he met Goldfishy Boldfishy, who said "Chicken Licken, where are you going in such a hurry?" "I'm going to tell the doctor that I've got a great big bump on my head" said Chicken Licken. "I'll come with you" said Goldfishy Boldfishy, but he couldn't because goldfish can't walk. So Chicken Licken carried on, and on his way he met Sheepy Weepy, who cried "Chicken Licken, where are you going in such a hurry?" "I do wish people would stop bugging me" said Chicken Licken "I'm going to tell the doctor that I've got a great big bump on my head."

"I'll come with you" said Sheepy Weepy, but he couldn't because his mum said he had to tidy his room. So Chicken Licken carried on, and on his way he met Hippopotomousy Zippopotomousy, who said "Chicken Licken, where are you going in such a hurry?" "I'm going to tell the doctor that I've got a great big bump on my head" said Chicken Licken.

"I'll come with you" said Hippopotomousy Zippopotomousy. Now Hippopotomousy Zippopotomousy did have legs, and his room was tidy, and he didn't have a trunk that was tied in a knot. So he was just about to go with Chicken Licken when someone undid his tummy button and his bottom dropped off. So Chicken Licken carried on, and on his way he met Fish Finger Mish Minger, who said "Chicken Licken, where are you going in such a hurry?" "I'm going to tell the doctor that I've got a great big bump on my head" said Chicken Licken.

"I'll come with you" said Fish Finger Mish Minger, but he couldn't because Chicken Licken ate him. So Chicken Licken carried on, and on his way he met Felt Tip Pen Belt Bit Ben, who said "Chicken Licken, where are you going in such a hurry?" "I'm going to tell the doctor that I've got a great big bump on my head" said Chicken Licken. "I am the doctor" said Felt Tip Pen Belt Bit Ben. "No you're not" said Chicken Licken.

"Yes I am" said Felt Tip Pen Belt Bit Ben."No you're not"
"Yes I am"
"Not"
"Am"
"Not"
"Am"
"Not Not Not"
"Am Am Am Am Am Am Am Am"

And then Chicken Licken pulled the lid off Felt Tip Pen Belt Bit Ben, and threw it in the river. So Chicken Licken carried on, and on his way he met Humpty Dumpty, who said "Chicken Licken, where are you going in such a hurry?" "I'm going to tell the doctor that I've got a great big bump on my head" said Chicken Licken. "I'll come with you" said Humpty Dumpty, but then there was a great CRASH! as Humpty Dumpty fell off a wall. Eventually Chicken Licken arrived at the door of the doctor's surgery, but he didn't have an appointment so the nurse told him to go away.Then he saw the sign on the door. It said "Doctor Felt Tip Pen Belt Bit Ben". "Oh dear" thought Chicken Licken "I'll have to bandage it up myself"

>> The Fisherman and the Bear

One fine day an old Maine man was fishing and fishing on his favorite lake and catching nary a thing. Finally, he gave up and walked back along the shore to his fishing shack. When he got close to the front door, he saw it was open. Being of a suspicious nature, he walked to the door quietly and looked inside. There was a big black bear. It was just pulling the cork out of his molasses jug with its teeth. The molasses spilled all over the floor and the bear rubbed his paw in it, smearing it all over.

Well, the old man was not the timid sort. He went to the back of the shack, put his head in the window and gave a loud yell. The bear jumped and ran out the door. It was running strangely. The old man saw that the bear was holding up the foot covered with molasses so it wouldn't get dirty.

The bear ran to the lake shore. Standing on its hind legs, it held up the paw full of molasses. Soon all the flies and bugs and mosquitoes were swarming all over the sticky sweet paw. Then the bear waded into the water with his sticky paw full of bugs. It held the paw out over the water. Suddenly, a big trout came jumping out of the water trying to get to the flies. The bear gave it a swat and it flew to the shore and flopped there. Then another fish jumped into the air after the flies, followed swiftly by another. Every time a fish jumped after his paw, the bear cuffed it ashore. Soon it had a large pile.

Finally, the bear decided he had enough fish and waded to shore. The bear had caught a mess of fish any fisherman would envy. The old man had caught nothing. He watched that bear eat half a dozen trout, his stomach rumbling. All he had for dinner was some bread and what was left of the molasses. Finally the bear paused in his eating, and looked over to the bushes where the old man was hidden. The bear stood up and laid the remaining fish in a row. Then it walked away up the shore. It kept looking back at the bushes where the old man stood.

The old man crept out of the bushes and down to the shore. Sure enough, the bear had left six large trout for him. He looked over at the bear. It was standing at the edge of the wood watching. "Thanks a lot," the old man called to the bear. The bear waved the now-clean paw at the old man and disappeared into the thicket. "Well," said the old man, "That's the first time a bear has ever paid me for my molasses."

The old man never hunted bears again.